Alright? What's occuring?

Can't sleep.
Sad coz I'm losing both my best friends.
Dollface albeit late March,
and A albeit for a few weeks.

I already miss them.
To the point where I feel so clingy
that I need to push them away,
A especially, I feel it'd harden me up
in a way, going into survival mode.
I'm sorry.
Quite selfish of me really,
should be happy for everyone,
well I am, but you know.
Won't have Internet for first week
or so in new place,
or at my parents' this weekend.
All a bit too much, this survivor
attitude.
Keep calm and carry on huh?

I suppose M and I are good friends,
and that I'm sure if I need anything
he'll be there, for the interim anyway.

I'm also laying here awake dreaming
that someone comes into my new house
and instantly says 'there's evil here'.
I've lived alone for many years,
can easily sleep when M goes out,
have no problems with noises,
but I suppose it's getting used to everything
again.

Going places...

Comings and goings.

1. A going on paternity leave.
2. Dollface moving to Sydney.
3. Moving into my own place.

I know what I'll do.
I'll order a Mac.

Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!

You Tube comment of the day:

William Shatner - "Common People"
lavamair (7 months ago)
This is a real captain's log of a cover version.


Me to Chola, aged 23:
On watching endless episodes of Star Trek
on Foxtel,
"I can see why people like this".
- Aha, you're getting into it.

**************************************
Feel quite ill today,
just vomited in the work toilets.

Lost it with the bank clerk,
making a cheque out to a suburb
instead of a company.
I had to pay an extra $23.
How is it my fault?

HOW IS IT MY FAULT?

I'm too tired to argue now.
And trying javascript:void(0)to figure out how to
get back to the real estate
on work time.

Drummers? They're two a penny!

Comment of the day on
You Tube
RE:
The xx - Basic Space
rubber1ducky (22 hours ago)
its ridiculous how much i love this band.
their music is like,
the epitimy of what i like..

Ahh Rubber1ducky - You totally rock, like a rock.

************************************************
I keep saying when I get my house,
I'm going to get...

though get and get are two different things.

1. Drum kit
2. Keyboard
3. L Shaped lounge suite
4. Trampoline
5. Boyfriend
6. Massive Persian rug
7. Tambourine
8. A big fuck off Mac

Max 43

Next over 40 degree day,
I'm staying home.

My eyeballs were melting out there.

I'm moving out,
right after I get home from Brisbane.

Come around, we'll play scrabble,
eat blue cheese and listen to xx.

Oooh I dig you.

Next song I want to fuck to.

Tomorrows the day

Ok so I didn't get that other house,
in fact I went to both openings
and no real estate agents turned up,
called and it had gone.
Way to waste my time.

Friday night, missed out on girls
night, as was with A for a quick leaving
drink for J. (yay). I was feeling low,
and wanted my bed.
Which actually turned into a late
night, surprisingly easy to turn one
drink and an early night into
6.5 drinks, a trip to the country,
a lovely evening with my favourite
boy A and his heavily pregnant partner M.
Midnight, was when I realised it was
well midnight, surprised when A said
that the futon had been made up for me
and that I should expect Z hoping into
bed with me in the morning. Cute.

What a lovely night, love sitting in the
backyard, talking and bare footed.
It's my favourite place.

Morning, Z and I watched Hihi Yumi Ami Puffy girls,
and then I went to look at flats.
Wish I'd worn flats, coz after the first one,
with no real estate,
and the second one, competing with about
6 others including a mother and infant,
I gave up.
Took my shoes off and went home depressed.

2.30, realised that there was an opening,
in Aberfeldie,
bachelor pad, near the river.
Arrive, stinking hot, estate agent
showed me through, met the current
tenant, and had a glass of water
whilst both of them tried to sell me the place,
(to rent), whilst I was forced to saying
'go on then!',
estate agent drove me back to the office
to fill in the form whilst she collected
her laptop and so I submitted it,
along with the truth.
I have a cat.

The place is concrete outside and
floating floorboards inside, I cannot
see why it'd be a problem.
She said that she's process my application
first thing on Monday.
And whilst A is also anticipating the
arrival of his son, I feel that this
is quite on par with needing to know.
The weekend has been long.

Watched Nick and Nora's infinite play list,
which was stock standard schmultz.
Ate blue cheese, slept and
made a mental shopping purchase of
a Mac, a 3 seater couch and a huge Persian
rug.
I did however buy season 3 of
Gavin and Stacey.
And clothes from New Look.

Told you, that you don't need a car
in Melbourne, just an address and a
credit card.

Tonight's the night.

Tonight's the night that I
find a house.

Oh oh oh, please.
I'm going to decorate it
with lots of cute girly things,
and there's no boys allowed.

Well apart from my dad and my friends.

Metaphor.

I know you want to meet someone,
who brings you out of yourself,
who inspires you,
who dances carefree,
who you make happy,
and makes you happy.

But today,
I can't be that person.
Today I feel like if I were to
run over someone, they'd get caught
and I'd drag them under the car for a while.

Though,
when I do get married,
If I were a carpenter - J.Cash.
will definitely be in
my wedding dance song list.
Possibly the first song.

Catching up, everything, like me, seems to still be closed.

Christmas at Dollface and S's,
had me arriving just before midday,
walking in on Johnny Cash playing,
swapping presents,
and then me bursting into tears,
claiming that I'm going to miss
Dollface when/if she moves to Sydney.

She hugs me
(both the crying and the hug are rare
within our 17 year friendship)
and tells me
that I'm 'Christmas overwhealmed'.

I don't think I've ever had that before.
It was just so lovely, the music, the gifts, the being
Christmas, and for the second year in a row
not spent with family.
The lovely company, where I felt homey.
My home had my ex and his mother and a dog.

A great Christmas day, one of the best.
I can't wait to make my own books with Japanese binding.
I got a kit, and my mother will tell you
that all I ever wanted for Christmas,
was paper, scissors and glue, and that I'd cut
up note books to make new ones.
Of course, there was other things I wanted
Sylvanian Families,
and a gypsy caravan.