Up there for thinking, out there for spontaneity.

Is it too early to go to work?
3.19am
Haven't slept yet,
and not likely to either.

Had the last of my spontaneity classes
last night,
we were given feedback and recommendations
to proceed onto narrative.
R told me that she's enjoyed watching
me go from shy to confident,
but that I get lapses of brain freezes,
ultimately I was too inside my head.

She told me to have a conversation
with myself about whether I really
want to progress to narrative.


Is it that fucking obvious that I live alone?

I am the man who stays home and does the dishes.

Sink and dishwasher at work live next to each other.

Right next to each other.

It's not hard.

I made this sign,
but someone took it down.

In a previous work place,
I made a sign that said
"Everytime you leave a spoon in the sink,
a baby dolphin dies".


Don't mess with me.

I went swimming tonight,
I pay a lot of money to be a member of a gym
I rarely go to. But I do love swimming.
It's so peaceful, no one can talk to you,
you don't feel like there's other things
you should be doing and you can't multitask.

As soon as I entered my flat tonight
I decided that I was very happy living here.
I love my messy house, I love having to
climb over things, that if I want to find
something ever again I have to put it in a
specific place.

I stuck pictures that I'd cut out of
magazines a while ago into my scrapbooks
which are my prized possessions
and watched The Hedgehog.

A brilliant film, which I realised matches the book
That I took from P's desk the other day
( she was going to donate it)
So am now looking forward to reading that.

I even set up my new VoIP phone,
except I diverted it to my mobile,
and missed a call back from my mother.
Sorry mam.

It's a shame that I can't sleep very well
again, 3am bedtimes aren't exactly restful.

Before and After

I really hate before and after shots
in magazines and design blogs,
that aren't taken from the exact same spot.

It makes no sense!

Before

After

P.S. I am in a bad mood today.

Oh Japan

M and I in Japan November 2009

So sad for Japan.
I will be back soon
and get your economy back on its feet
by buying loads of junk and beer.

Sickness, spillage and salvaging.

Yeah if you want black lungs, clogged valves, tattooed skin and possible liver damage, sure go ahead, take what you can find.

Jett thinks she's being clever,

being openly nice to humans,

sucking them in with her bequests...

but planning to leave nothing behind to salvage.

Ma-hahaha, ma-haw ha.

*cough ~ cough*

Old love letters and post gets better.

In my desire to downsize,

I started going through my 

pile of letters, cards that I felt

too precious to throw out.

I was about to throw away

letters from ex-boyfriend P.

But I started reading the first few lines

of a couple of his letters 

(we lived an hour apart for about 6 months at the start),

he was in love with me!

Really truly!

I forgot.

So I'm going to keep them,

might be the only ones I ever get.

And just so my mind doesn't wander...

[insert personal reminders about why I broke up with him here].

I will try to get a grip on reality.

ps.
74.8% on Environmental Art subject.
Distinction.
I don't deserve it.

Old love letters and Cards ~ Throwing - Left / Keeping - Right

Mail day some day this week.

Kill me! Wait.  There much more fun.

Sailing boats

OMG I am in love.
Check out this wallpaper.

Birthday Parties.

Hmmm, useful information if I wanted to move to The Netherlands:

Birthday parties are celebrated by adults as well as children. 
The person having the birthday is expected 
to have a cake to share with everyone. 

5 years

Here's where I've lived.

5 Years South Wales, 

7 Years Blackpool, England,

5 Years Gold Coast, Aust

7 Years Brisbane, Aust

5 Years Melbourne, Aust

Well in 16 months time it'll be 5 years here.

So to keep up my tradition, 

I need to find a place to live for 7 years.

I wont have finished my study, 

that's the only problem, 

and another 7 years in Australia 

doesn't really appeal, 

but that's only because I haven't 

really thought properly about it.

Choices are:

Not in any particular order...

Hobart,

Sydney,

Adelaide.

B,when you're here, 

we must go through these cities

and make a decision*

*decision may be rescinded if 

I meet a lovely boy who lives

in 

or

near

Melbourne.

News.

Good news?

Simple blood test to check for Downs Syndrome.

I know I wouldn't send my nephew back.

But what if you knew first?

Everyone is different,

which is why anti-abortion protesters

can go and fuck themselves.

The local rag, lottery and far left corner is breakfast, plus anti-biotic [not shown].

And the bad news?

Imminent return of the suckful bitch.

Where to now?

Suggestions please?!

Who wants to move to Holland with me?

Fuck-it! 

Come on.

If you've got the money,
I've got the passport.

We'll rent a room 

and get drunk

and fuck.

(Obviously it'd need to be a boy that says yes).

So-so news.

I'm 30 years, 6 months and 11 days old today.

My predicted death date is 2047.

I was thinking what if I knew the date of my 

death would I live differently?

With the answer being 2047, no.

I've had a skin-full.

I didn't find Skins (British version) 

that out of the ordinary.

I didn't think that the family situations those kids

were in, were overly far fetched.

The amount of drugs and alcohol consumed,

the sex lives, was just about right.

And if anything wasn't, 

I guess it's just a tv show.

The New Yorker doesn't have that opinion.

Talking on the American version of the show,

Nancy Frankin writes 

"there is an unsparing quality to much British drama, 

and it requires viewers to tolerate a high level of discomfort"

So...

Americans watch British tv shows, 

with the same disassociation

as when I watch a horror movie,

hear about an earthquake killing hundreds

or say no to sponsoring another child?

They should probably sort out their gun laws

before trying to protect their teenagers from having sex.

And contarary to what they seem to think,

people don't learn behaviours from television.

On a sad note,

one of my female phasmids - spiny leaf stick insects 

died.

Two down, one to go.

It's really sad to loose a pet.

The living one put her foot on the

shoulder of the dead one,

as if it was mourning it.

I was.

That's two now, a male and a female.

I have many stick insect eggs,

although according to this

they can take 1-3 years to hatch.

I'm going to have to rethink my strategy with this.

Sad, just the one will be lonely.

Greenpeace recipes meh, and The Women. 

I didn't order this DVD either.
Quickflix pleasequit sending me absolute gobshite like this.

I'm going to save my current order list
and see if anything turns up unexpectedly.
Anyone else have this problem?

5 year journal and prize home ticket

Starting to think that I wont win a prize home

after all, but I'm keeping it going until the end of the year.

I think I'm getting more and more stubborn as the years pass.

The 5 year journals...

bought from: Urban Outfitters.

One is for Britt my best friend of 17 years.

(B I wont post it, as you're here next week...)

One line a day for 5 years, then we swap and 

read through each others...

It'll be very interesting.

Each page has an entry line for each of the 5 years,

so you can easily see what you did on the 4th of March each year. 

Oh the Malaysian President is here.

We're all looking out the window,

from the first floor...

-Which one is he?

"The wee bald one"

-Oi!, baldy!

I need my fill-in mummy.

Not convinced.

My boss saw my scowl as I was 

walking down the corridor 

and asked if I still had a headache.

-Yeah and I think whinging helps,

and crying, and then I just want my mummy.

-Well, come here.....

She gave me a hug,

a massage

and put some oil in my hair

and then tied my scarf tight around my head.

I had to keep it on for 10 minutes.

I also have to get garlic, horseradish and vitamin c,

and I'm to take 2 a day forever.

I've had this headache for 2 weeks, so I'll give it a go.

I'm going to tell her I feel better,

because I like it when she touches me.

Even if it is only so I don't go home.

(Work is too busy for sickies).

It's funny how strong

you can be for months and months,

and then something happens

and you just wanna be looked after,

and told that everything is going to be alright,

and be made

a nice cup of tea.

I told D at work, 

and she said

"I want my mummy too"

(hers is dead).

I should make the most of mine whilst I still 

have her in my life.

Everyone should.

Life is a cruel bastard.

Air miles

Air distance app.

(B, this one's for you).

Campus life.

Oh dear there's shit going down at work.

Funny shit.

Like those kids handing out Green Left and 

other socialist papers

yelling

"Keep the USA out of Lebanon!"

Week one of Uni,

and I grumpily shuffle 

my way slowly

though the crowded playground 

thinking

"Keep the kids out of the canteen!"

Seriously though,

things are heating up here.

We've had one more struck down

with the dreaded Stress.

I helpfully suggested that I might get

paid for my overtime.

I'm starting a revolution from my desk

"Reward those who have no life

and stay behind after work to work!"

My boss is in a meeting right now

asking the GM just that!

I hope.

Talking with A outside

(yes we're friends again),

I told him that 

I wouldn't come here

if you paid me.

Thinking of being a student.

He said 

"You do come here,

and we do pay you."

Thinking of being a worker.

Hail work.

I do love my job,

I love the stress,

it's a good excuse when you've just

overstepped the mark and shouted

"I will NOT do it twice" 

at a manager.

(That was yesterday). 

I never seem to get in trouble,

though it's in the post, I'm sure.