Explanations by the wayside

I constantly feel that things are left unsaid,
unexplained, and I usually go to great lengths
to correct myself, to the point of needing the
last word in most cases.

When I said
"M keeps booking things [The Harvest Festival]
months ahead", even though I'd asked him to.
I think the person I was talking to [L]
mistook this for the fact that M keeps booking things ahead for me.
Simple deduction from a simple statement, right?

What I really meant was
I have things to do in the future,
which puts off my desire to end my life.

It'll have to be after November now.

And I'm sure that in November,
I'll have more things booked for December
and maybe even 2012.
So I guess I'll die another day?

I think I feel this way when I'm tired.
I also think, that there's only so many things
that need explaining.
Me wanting to die,
isn't one of them.

L has left work.
I enjoyed having him here,
and he did look rather lovely yesterday.
He wore a new shirt just for me,
though I'm not sure
"yes, I thought of you when I put it on",
means the same thing as I'm thinking.

But now,
when he emailed me
today,
I don't know if I don't want to reply,
don't have to reply
or
just that I'm playing the
"he can't miss me, if I don't go away"
game.

And because I don't know.
I'm not going to reply.
Confused what?

The cup.

I just dropped my coffee cup at work,
it fell out of my hand,
like I'd just let go of my constitution
for a second.
The cup literally fainted out of my hand.

It smashed.
I'd had it since 2005.
Same cup, practically everyday.

I think I just went into shock at the mere
thought that the cup wanted to suicide.

Imagine if I was holding a baby!

You wear it well. ( or my guilty pleasure )

I once enrolled in a subject called
Sex, drugs, rock n' roll.
It lasted all of three classes
before I packed up my stuff and
walked out of the tutorial.
That was the same week about 200
of us went to the lecture theatre to watch
a film, but the lecturer didn't show up.

I walked out because
a) my group thought the sex part was
1. about women singers vs men singers
and
2. about what music made you want to have sex.
Sigh.
And
b) because Lawrence English asked me what was the last
record I bought was...
I answered Rod Stewarts greatest hits.
And he said 'that's more of a confession isn't it?'

Bye bye loser, I'm out of here.

Rod Stewart is touring in February.
Anyone want to go to Hanging Rock to watch him
With me?
We'll get there late to avoid Diesel.

Anyone?

Sensational reading.

I never travel without my diary.
One should always have something
sensational to read on a train.
- Gwendolyn Fairfax

Save the poor beasts
who put up with my ramblings
I've started a diary again.
Inwards and upwards!