Being awesome just doesn't cut it anymore.

This is actually a big fat lie.

I haven't cried.  

Maybe I really can't.

Or maybe it just doesn't fucking matter.

I didn't promise you a rose garden...

... or my comics are quite shit.

I turned 31 a while ago.

I think my nan said it well with "you're an old woman now"...

But these clocks...make me appreciate being an old woman.

I'm insane!

Oh god today is already going down hill.

That's not what ships are for...

Page 2 done!

Unchartered Waters

I cancelled my painting subject this morning,

it was all getting too much for me.

So now I only have Arguments101 (critical thinking) to do this term.

And you know what, 

as soon as I stopped worrying about art work, 

I did some.

The only thing that doing a BArt (Fine Art) has taught me so far, 

is that I'm more creative without it.

Do I really need to finish my last 8 subjects????

Do I?

Fortune Tellers.. any answers?

Front cover - complete with obligatory coffee ring.

Back cover

Finally got started on my Sketchbook Project 2012 submission.
Front and back pages on the theme Unchartered Waters.

34 more pages to go,
I have until 31st January 2012 to submit it,
then it gets scanned into an online viewable thing
and goes on tour!

Naked Man

Every Friday in The Age EG supplement, 

there's The Adventures of Naked Man caption competition.

I finally won! 

(Not my best one, but hey...)

So I can show you the way

Phone conversation with my nan.


- Hello, it's me.
Oh hello, how are you? 
I've had a phone call from your sister this week, I nearly fell on the floor!
Can you believe it?  I couldn't, I was in shock.
And your mother rang, you should ring your mother at least once a week, if not twice.
You only have one mother.
- Yeah I know, I do.
Your Aunt and cousin are coming up tomorrow, they're supposed to come tonight.
Do you have Facebook? Have you seen her modelling photos?  She's doing them in the buff now.
(I'm pretty sure she said that!) She's got a contract in Manchester.
- Wow, that sounds great.
Yeah but she has to finish her college first, that's two years and she's only 16 almost 17.
(Me thinking.. nude photos?  Doubt it).
You should ring me more often.
I'll be dead soon.
When are you coming to see me?
- After I finish my course.
I'll be dead by then, I might be gone tomorrow.
You never know, when. 
So when you finish your course, 
you'll come over?
- Yeah
You can come and live with me then.
Thanks for calling.
I appreciate it.
Are you courting yet?
- No
What happened with the dentist?
- That ended a while ago.
How old are you now?
- 31.
31! You're an old woman!
31 and I'm 21.  
- Ha, then I'll be dead before you.
No you won't, 
and I need to go first so I can show you the way.


Is that not the loveliest thing to say?!
Bless her.

Rule #1 of Hula Hoop club

Don't hula hoop and drink beer when you're actually ill.

It'll make you throw up.

In my madness 

I did actually learn that I could hula hoop

for about 10 seconds around my foot.

Go me!

And I learnt how to do the helicopter 

in a small space.

Go me!

How does one practice in public (in a park)

without people like me laughing at them?

Case in point: 

Southern Cross train station one wintery Friday night

there was a guy doing the Goblin King crystal ball thing...

Working on it. 2. My work life balance.

K at work lent me a book last week,

to read, and summarise for her.

The book is called 

"The Artist in the Office"

Summer Pierre.

Normally these kinds of books

are great for passive reading,

colourful, fun and enticing 

but not really of substance.

However, being given the task of summarising,

I feel I have to give it a good go..

I'm only a little way through, 

but already I've discovered

William Carlos Williams, 

a doctor who wrote beat poetry on prescription pads,

and was part of the imagism movement.

In which poetry is written to describe 

only what is necessary.

(See below post Poem for Monday).

I wrote this poem to see if I could, 

it took all of two minutes.

And I love it.

Which reminds me of the inspiration talked about in 

Elizabeth Gilbert's Ted Talk on Nurturing Creativity,

this is absolutely brilliant, I highly recommend viewing it.

Back to the book,

we have to go to work everyday,

end of.

So in having to go to work everyday,

unless it's a job that you absolutely hate,

which dispirits you, or exhausts you to the point

where you can't even look forward to 5pm,

what does it offer you?

Pierre asks us to make a list of the benefits.

My job provides for me the following:

1. Cheapest flat in ideal location filled with my favourite things, 40 minute walk to work

2. Expensive cat food for the cat (obviously)

3. Internet access, pens, paper, awful coffee - for free!

4. The ability despite my inability to study during the day

5. Ability to listen to music, watch youtube, Ted talks and sometimes entire films at my desk

6. Sick leave, mental health days, holidays - that I never take due to first two absence types

7. Friendship with some truly golden people

8. Phone calls and postage to my family and friends - for free!

9. A decent salary so I can afford to buy things I don't need (I bought a vacuum cleaner online today)

(I do need a new vacuum cleaner)

10. Feedback from my colleagues on my creative attempts, stories, laughter, shared frustrations,

a sense of belonging and being needed.

and finally

11.  Discussions with K on just how sexy Future Simon is, which Doctor is the hottest (Matt Smith), little skits from Catherine Tate and passing notes over the partition.

I'm only a tincy bit way through the book, 

and already I feel better about being at work.

Hell, I'm writing this post at work, 

so it ain't all bad, 

and too be honest if I was mega rich and

didn't need to work, 

just lived the artist's life 

I wouldn't get out of bed.


P.S. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS NEW RECEIPT DESIGN? 
BRILLIANT
Swiss Miss

A poem for Monday.

The boss, she yells across the room.

The question goes unheard

over whiz and 

hum

of the fax machine.

I put my hand up 

to silence her

until

I am close enough.

Speak to me now, 

of administrative query

whilst

I feign enthralment politely.

In between love

Today is a Tom Waits day.

Blanket #2

This one's for me, with pattern...

woo.

Blanket for Len

Finally finished Len's granny square blanket after just over 4 months!
This was in-between working full-time and studying ...
and also waiting for the second lot of wool to arrive.


The wool is from the Bendigo Woolen Mills.
And I just hope that the sheep are well looked after.
Will investigate.

It's so hard to take a decent photo with Melbourne's light.

I have to order wool for Ner's blanket next ...
She wants yellow..  just bought the wool, 
it's actually cotton as I recently saw a documentary
about merino wool and the sheep who live in cages 
their whole lives, so as not to get their wool dirty.  
Sorry this animal mis-treatment thing is really becoming an obsession with me.
I'm changing my ways for the better.


I'm still also working on another (non-granny square) blanket for myself,
which I think will take a good year or so...
Only because it's for me and there's no pressure!


I'll take a photo on a good light day as
it's got a lovely little pattern through it.


Got M checking up on me.
Bye!

Working on it. 1. My attitude.

 

Attitude.

My attitude stinks.

1. "Go fuck yourself." is not the appropriate response to every situation in life.

Fringe Festival 2011

I've just booked 9 shows at this year's

Melbourne Fringe Festival

21/09/11 7pm - Independent Women 2 

21/09/11 9pm - 10 Things I know about you

24/09/11 6pm - Binge Thinking

24/09/11 8.30pm - 27 years, 126 Days

28/09/11 6.30pm - The Waiting Place

28/09/11 8pm - I know there's a lot of noise outside

1/10/11 7.30pm - Sweet child of mine

4/10/11 8pm - Who, Me.

6/10/11 8pm - The uncommon alphabet

I'm not done yet, but I have to wait for next pay.