Feeling worthwhile on a day like today.

OK so I twittered.
Twice.
I need to feel worthwhile.
I am recording things that make me feel
that life has a point.

If not to me,
someone else.

It is not me being conceited.
These comments bounce off me,
in the office or in the playground.
Comments of this type,
need to come from specific people
to mean something.

********************************************
Today is a perfect day,
loud thundery thunder and rain.

My fecking god,
I've never heard it so loud.
Now the fire alarm has been set off.

It is also Friday,
which means
beer for lunch with A.
Where he gets a female perspective,
and I get a male perspective,
which still doesn't really make sense.
********************************************

B and I have a regular conversation starter.
- Are you excited about today?
Well I have a pen that lights up so yes.
- Are you excited about today?
Yes, I'm going to write just with my left hand.
-Are you excited about today?
No, I have a life outside of work, that I want to get to.

I imagine me talking to my doctor:
"I don't think I'm depressed,
I'm not, most of the time I feel content,
even so, I can't shake the feeling that there isn't a point to life"

I understand that lots of great things happen,
they do
and I'm grateful,
I enjoy lots of things.
I just don't see the point,
when the ultimate goal is death.

Then I think about famous people that have died,
their point was to be remembered after they've gone.
And we remember them, for whatever legacy they left behind,
but comparative to those who died, who we never heard of,
I think I'm in that latter category.
I'm an audience member.

Is that reason enough?