The sun and the wind and the long wakeful nights

There's glow-in-the-dark bugs
In my garden.
Seeing as I can't sleep anymore,
I'm going to monitor them every night,
There was 4 last night and now there's 2.
No there's still 4.

The good thing about insomnia
Is that it's very peaceful.
The bad thing is the achey body.

I'm moving house in 17 days.
M thinks it's going to take me 6
Months to find a place, and at the
Rate I'm going I'll probably move
Into his place and want to hibernate
And forget the world is happening.

Im glad he's still in Melbourne,

And glad he hasn't found a girlfriend yet.

I've resigned myself to the fact that I will be
Alone forever, I'm happy with that.
Some people do live their entire lives as singletons.
I just hope it's a quick one.

I'm happy, I've done what I needed and wanted to do.
But this existing, it's all a bit much really.

There isn't anything I want to do in the future.

Recently, A told me that I was a selfish, lying pisscunt friend.
I can't be bothered to say why, it has nothing to do with me.
I don't take kindly to being called selfish.
I knew this day would come.
and frankly my dear I don't give a damn.

I likened it to the story about the sun and the wind.
The sun thought he was stronger than the wind, and the wind thought he was stronger than the sun,
So one day they tried to prove it to one another and chose a man walking.
"I bet you I can make that man take off his coat",
"ok, easy" said the wind,
And he blew and blew and the man wrapped his coat around himself tighter,
No matter how hard he tried the wind couldn't blow the coat off the man.
The sun tried, and shined down on the man with all his might, until the man, becoming very hot, took off his coat.

The end

I don't know where I heard that from, but no matter how many insults you throw at me, I will not let you into my life.
But if you are lovely and sunny I will.
So don't try to imagine for a second that I will be bullied into saying sorry for not taking your side.
I don't take sides.

My father doesn't talk to his mother, but that doesn't mean that I will never talk to her.
We are each to our own and if that makes me selfish, so be it.
My life, my choices.

I am going to play sudoku. Bye.