This is a delicate thing.

I watched High Fidelity again.
Its a great film.
Rob: Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art.
Many do's and don'ts.
First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel.
This is a delicate thing.

I am so fucking happy.
My last day at work went ok.
Helped G, with emails, fucked about,
gave presents to the people that matter.
J got my Jade plant,
E got my dictionary,
L got a post-it note pad with my name around the edges,
L got my Kimberly Clark sanitiser wipes,
B got my pedometer,
and well G,
she got my job.
I went to a job interview, that went well.
So okay in fact that they gave me feedback
in the interview,
asked about my middle name,
asked why I left school and had a blank between 1997
and 2000...
I wasn't sure that working as a cashier,
and a factory assistant was worth printing...

I didn't read the position description,
I just applied.
I had no idea what job I was being questioned about.
What attracted you to the job?
What skills do you have that would suit this role?
Have you got a continuing desire to be in this role?
Slowly words such as media, presentations, updating websites
came up.
I'm still not sure what the job is.
Media Assistant?
I can do that.
Hell yes.

Wonder if someone will ask about this blank space
in time one day.

I lived. Will be my answer.

My boss gave a nice speech
at morning tea.
That I was late to, as I was reinstating my last student into her course...
He said that I had a great rapport with my students and fellow staff members,
so much so, that I will be sorely missed.

Then it was my turn,
"It really has been good working here,
but when all your friends that you made,
start to leave and you're left with.. well.. you know,
and then you realise that its time to go too."

I'M JOKING.

Fuck man I say the dumbest things.

So that's the story,
now I'm free,
no more work.

Completely insane, considering that mostly on occasion I'm

to quote Jack Kerouac in The Dharma Bums;

'poor
and mostly poor
and truely poor.'

So after work drinks
lasted all of 2 drinks,
the people who would have carried the show,
left early,
or weren't there,
or didn't show up.

Today I'm going to watch L and L's play/musical called Enough.
L has the lead role, and the other L sits in the front row
and does her part.
L sings and rides a BMX.
I'm taking Dollface and I'm going to sit next to L.
Looking forward to it.
http://www.fortyfivedownstairs.com/whatson.php

Just got a text from Dollface.
'I have a massive craving for the mountains.
U wanna climb a Dandenong tomorrow?'
I reply with
'YES, and life gets better.'

Looking forward to the country air,
the great outdoors,
and screaming
"Its fucking shite being Scottish"
to the wind.

So what now?
I'd better put the lottery on for tonight,
as I need some money for rent and food I guess,
to live this lifestyle I've now chosen.

The back of my mind
begs the question
the the front of my mind
pretends not to hear.

shhh....hi C, everything okay? shhh.... just that you seem a little...
and i shhh...thought maybe.. um... shhh...
are you going, uh.... shhh....
do you wonder shhh... if you're going through a... uh... mid-life crisis?
because its okay if you are... shhh...
you can talk about it with me if you like...
we can come up with a solution.... shhh...

I don't imagine for a second I am.
I just want to see what happens,
when I throw everything away.

I've done it before.
and I'll do it again.

Nothing much happens.
But I'm always glad I did.